Belonginess of our group

Few days ago, our tutor of Group Dynamic ask us about what you think about group, do you want to belong in a group? As what we can expected, most of us answer "yes" with their reason, and when the tutor ask about my opinion, I say "no"....

Why we need to be in group, sure there is something we can get from it, therefore we are always in group. As general, we can get recognize and feel accepted by the majority if we are in the group, we behave the same way, having the same goal ambition, have fun together and support each other. Belong to a group is very important for human being to survive. But allow me to confront it, do these thing only can apply to group members only?

Sure the answer is no, we still can apply these good thing to ousider too, but then what the reason we want to form a group since we are trying to apply the same good behavior to everyone? Usually, we tend to treat our group members better than outsider, this including listening to ingroup, take care of ingroup, help and support ingroup even the members are not asking for it. Yeah, this is good to hear that we are kind, love and good to people, but sad to say this, it only apply to ingroup members rather than "people", and I recognize it as selfish love, rather than true love.

Everyone have the love, no matter it is conditional or not, selfish or not, big or not, bad or not, we have love in ourselves. Although treating good to ingroup members is always better than treating bad to others, but the name of "group" already limited our that whatever love to only that certain members. But the fact is, there are many people need our love, our care, our attention, and our support too, not only just that certain members in our group.

Yeah I know that we still can be friend with others who is outside of the group, but the case is, by the time we mention we are in a group, we are actually differentiating ourselves with outsider in a clear boundary. And since they are outsider or stranger, it is normal for us to ignore, abandon or even reject to offer our love, our care or even our attention to them without our awareness. Yeah, there is nothing right or wrong in this world, being in a group is no right or wrong since we need social acceptance and mutual support from each other. Just hoping for your awareness, there are many people need our love, please don't selfish to offer them.

Maybe most of us will say, I will help and accept others too if they come to me and ask for help, we are always welcome and willing to help. I wonder, the group always walk together, stay together, behavior together everyday that result in strong unity relationship between each other in group, when someone need help from us, do there left any space for the person to get in? And we only offer help and support if only they join the group? Sure verbally we are welcome others to join our group, but the boundary of the "group" will automatically preventing others from get into the group. We are only good and love our group members, in fact.

I cannot do anything if majority want to be in group no matter what the reason, I respect it and accept it. But at least I know what is happening, I try my best not to belong to any group, I am belong to everyone, as long as there is someone need me, even there is no one for now maybe, I will always ready for it. I will be here if u need me, anytime, anywhere, without reason.