Totally fainted, game over

Haiz, this computer cannot write Chinese word, no choice, have to write in English already.....
Today, i went to Sunway Pyramid for ice skating, with my 2 female course mates from other group, actually i am full of excited to get ready to ice skate, but very weird, by the time I reach Sunway Pyramid, my excited mood totally distorted !! I am aware of it, I am thinking of the B girl ><"

I recall back the moments while I dated her to ice skating for celebrating her birthday at Sunway Pyramid too. It start from the time i step in SP, I remember that we went to book movie first before ice skating... Omg~ I am not concentrade in going out with my friends ><" But I fail to control myself, all in my mind is only B girl, I become confuse what I actually doing at that time. Feel sorry to my friends really....

While ice skating, it become worse, I helping my friend learn to skate, i recall back the time i do the same to B too, it just cannot get away from my mind, i really have nothing to say about it, but it is distorting my mood to play ice skate nicely. I cannot concentrade in skating, i watching in front, but i did not see the path; I look serious and steady, but I get lost in my mind. It is confusing, it is annoying. My leg shaking, not because i am tired, is because i don't know where I am skating, because i never pay attention in my skating. Falling down, getting injure is the result.

When I talking with my friends, I noticed that I always unconsiously mention my memories with B in the SP. I know it is not related to my friends, but I still repeating the same mistake over and over again. Fainted, this is not me, I am not comfortable with it, I feel so abnormal now. I know, I'm dying for sure this time ><"

Don't know what to say now, I just feel I am dominanted by the B already, without any reasonable reason. It is so wildness, it is so compulsive! I try to avoid, but it really out of my control, I have no idea how to deal with it. I am losing, I losing all my things, I lose to a girl without boundary, and now, I totally lose to myself too! Fainted, when I become so vulrable to danger?? When I become so low in self-esteem one !??? Speechless, I know I am game over soon~

Now I really no dare to think about it deeply, it is so unsecure! I know that avoidance won't solve the problem, it will just perpetuate the issues, but too bad, I do not have the ability to deal with it so far, so please allow me to take this stupid step ><"