Thanks for loving me, Wen

Without my awareness, we in couple relationship for > 3 months
It is already consider as over the "testing" and "danger" period
I can't say for sure we are safe and happy forever, but is ok for me
I appreciate what I have now, really thank you for being with me.

My life become busy suddenly, busy to think of u, busy to care of u
U adapted into my life, and now u are in my list of considerations
Consideration of daily regulation, other than play online games
The important rank of consideration adjusting, I want u to be top
Time needed for arrangement, but I will try my best, because of u

Sorry for sometimes, I am not mentally present when u need me
Yeah, I am busy with my game as usual, as routine as daily task
I know u dislike me play online games, I really can understand it
I am trying, to quit from games, including RO, dota or whatever
Sorry for dissapointed, sorry for ignorance, sorry for loneliness

I can see ur love, ur care, ur attention on me, it is a huge wave
U remember my many word, u do many things to cheer me up
U sad for me, happy for me, worry for me, and angry for me too
I really failed to understand the reasons of worry for others
But I am congruence with myself, ur caring really touching me

I don't know what is love, and I don't know how I can love u too
Please allow me to learn, I willing to change for u, Yap AI Wen~

避免双重关系，基本原则

辅导其中一个原则，不能与客户有双重关系，哪怕是利益，或友谊关系也好，一律不被鼓励。原因是避免不必要的尴尬，也去除多余的心理障碍。打个比方，若我的朋友很看得起我，也许会害怕丢脸而不敢说心里话；若看不起我，根本不可能与我这种人分享心事，所以与陌生人辅导，大家不懂对方背景，可能这一辈子也只是见那么一次，所以效果会比较实际，也干脆磊落的。

学了很多，也常与陌生人练习辅导技巧，其实并不难，而且超有效的。实习经验多了，也慢慢习惯了，聆听已成为了生活方式，偶尔也会分析两句，有种感觉，像是过着辅导师的生活，应用所学到的面对身边的一切。

一直以来，都没什么困难，直到牵系到本身的感情问题，才深深明白不能有双重关系的道理。我常在想，既然辅导那么好，为什么不能用在其它关系上呢？也因为这原因，我常把感情关系用以辅导方式面对，希望能正面的增强感情，可惜的是原来双重关系的麻烦，在于过多的情绪交错，导致双方/单方感情用事，一切原则道理都变成垃圾，常理变成问题，分析变成解释，讨论变成恶化，沉默变成逃避，最终达成共识，当没有一回事。

虽然如此，还是深信着辅导的好处，只是不能由有双重关系的两个人一起进行，哪怕本身的修年再高，经验再多，也不得犯上辅导大忌，不然就是自找麻烦，自掘坟墓行为。

终于要放手了，仙境传说

我最喜欢的仙境传说，Ragnarok Online，是一款老久历史的线上游戏
算起来，我也玩了RO七年左右，对RO的热诚，一直以来都有增无减
喜欢RO的原因，游戏变化多端，没有单人匹马的英雄，只有合作的团队
有限的等级能力，挑战与神匹敌的怪物，团体战术游戏，我超喜欢的 XD

可惜的是，我得放手了，放弃难得好玩的游戏，离开共同进退的公会朋友
很舍不得，哪怕只是坐在城市聊天，听听背景音乐，RO一切都勾起回忆
我不懂我会不会适应，没有RO的日子，可是我愿意尝试，回来现实生活
这个决定，不是受了什么刺激，我只想抽多一点时间，陪陪女朋友而已

我想把时间整理出来，留给我的女朋友，哪怕你需要与否，我都在这里
我不懂我能给你什么，最起码这是我能做到的，可能不算什么，也没关系
我只想要你开心，我好想看到你笑的样子，我想你快乐，想让你幸福
头一次很有两个人的感觉，我会好好珍惜，感谢你的包容，真的让我感动

有时难免会想念RO，但不打算玩回，因为蛮浪费时间的，只为打怪升级
看来要转移目标了，DOTA也不错吧，一场一小时，拍拍屁股就收工 XD

辅导为了什么，基本原则

都第二年了，在辅导科里学了好多哲学和技巧，用以解决客户的个别方案
有人性化的，实体化的，抽象化的，科学化的，有的更是没有理论化的
学了一大堆，虽然没有实际经验，知识还是难能可贵的，也总算懂一点点
凭着一点知识，开始尝试分析解释，在日常生活中，发挥平日学的一切

渐渐的，忘了最基本的原则，忽略了辅导的意义，开始为别人解决问题
分析口头言论，解释肢体语言，评估个人想法，再判断相对的方法技巧
的确，这都是我们所学的，也是辅导的一部分，更是考试高分的主要因数
只是不明白，为什么辅导这个名词，给我的感觉，都只是解决问题呢？

我很不喜欢，辅导只是解决问题，这不是我要的，更不是客户所希望的
但没有办法，讲师教的都是这样，学生学的都是这样，考试问题也是一样
为了顺利毕业，无意识的适应生存，我也差点迷失了自己，变成那个样
很不甘心，被误导了那么久，重点不是别人，只是没想到自己那么迟钝

我想做辅导师，不是为了解决问题，我想与人聊天，发泄心里的复杂情绪
我只想这么简单，也相信这是客户所要的，管他啦，我走我的路好了 XD

发泄不用规则，欢迎光临

最近还蛮多人的，来到这里发泄情绪，虽然多是来者不善，也没关系啦
只要是愿意聊天的，不管内容是好是坏，来到这里了，都欢迎你们啦～
什么意见我都会接受，认不认同是另一回事，尽管发泄你们的情绪吧~
只要你们觉得开心，这里就是你们的乐园，没有规则的，自然就好 XD

好久没这么热闹了，一堆人发表意见，虽然有点不习惯，感觉还蛮好的
毕竟看了会留言，都算有心交流啦，说起来也是客，没有不欢迎的理由
只是有点担心，你们不习惯这里的自助方式，会以为被忽略/不受欢迎
习惯就好，来多几次，应该会好一点吧，希望你们也喜欢来这里啦 XD

有些留言可能比较直接，但我也蛮喜欢爽快的人，干脆磊落的，赞啦！
尽管来吧，讽刺也好，侮辱也好，双关都好，你敢讲的，我都敢听 XD
好久都没有火了，好怀念啊，如果可能的话，尽管放马过来吧，期待哦
我也想看看我的能耐程度，虽然不曾怀疑，但自信爆满也不太好吧 ><"

哈哈～还蛮期待你们下一次的到访，虽然我不懂你们是谁，但那不重要
对我来说，朋友不一定要知道名字的，有心就可以了，总之就是欢迎啦

Belonginess of our group

Few days ago, our tutor of Group Dynamic ask us about what you think about group, do you want to belong in a group? As what we can expected, most of us answer "yes" with their reason, and when the tutor ask about my opinion, I say "no"....

Why we need to be in group, sure there is something we can get from it, therefore we are always in group. As general, we can get recognize and feel accepted by the majority if we are in the group, we behave the same way, having the same goal ambition, have fun together and support each other. Belong to a group is very important for human being to survive. But allow me to confront it, do these thing only can apply to group members only?

Sure the answer is no, we still can apply these good thing to ousider too, but then what the reason we want to form a group since we are trying to apply the same good behavior to everyone? Usually, we tend to treat our group members better than outsider, this including listening to ingroup, take care of ingroup, help and support ingroup even the members are not asking for it. Yeah, this is good to hear that we are kind, love and good to people, but sad to say this, it only apply to ingroup members rather than "people", and I recognize it as selfish love, rather than true love.

Everyone have the love, no matter it is conditional or not, selfish or not, big or not, bad or not, we have love in ourselves. Although treating good to ingroup members is always better than treating bad to others, but the name of "group" already limited our that whatever love to only that certain members. But the fact is, there are many people need our love, our care, our attention, and our support too, not only just that certain members in our group.

Yeah I know that we still can be friend with others who is outside of the group, but the case is, by the time we mention we are in a group, we are actually differentiating ourselves with outsider in a clear boundary. And since they are outsider or stranger, it is normal for us to ignore, abandon or even reject to offer our love, our care or even our attention to them without our awareness. Yeah, there is nothing right or wrong in this world, being in a group is no right or wrong since we need social acceptance and mutual support from each other. Just hoping for your awareness, there are many people need our love, please don't selfish to offer them.

Maybe most of us will say, I will help and accept others too if they come to me and ask for help, we are always welcome and willing to help. I wonder, the group always walk together, stay together, behavior together everyday that result in strong unity relationship between each other in group, when someone need help from us, do there left any space for the person to get in? And we only offer help and support if only they join the group? Sure verbally we are welcome others to join our group, but the boundary of the "group" will automatically preventing others from get into the group. We are only good and love our group members, in fact.

I cannot do anything if majority want to be in group no matter what the reason, I respect it and accept it. But at least I know what is happening, I try my best not to belong to any group, I am belong to everyone, as long as there is someone need me, even there is no one for now maybe, I will always ready for it. I will be here if u need me, anytime, anywhere, without reason.

拍拖了一个月，两人世界

不知不觉，拍拖了大约一个月，两个人的生活，好像没有想象中的简单
向来习惯了一个人，做事都不用交代/解释，我可以做我所喜欢做的事情
两个人了，要见面，要亲密，要联系，要关系，一切不再是一个人的事
多了关心，分享，感觉，拥抱，话题，也多了本分，要求，期望，顾虑
我明白有好也会有坏，只是觉得那是可以更好的，难在需要两个人的共识

我常在想，如果我有女朋友了，有可能说我只想要情侣的好，不要坏的吗？
其实是可以的，有了名份后，享受着情侣关系的同时，再以朋友身份对待
不要求对方做什么，不期望对方应该怎么做，只想对方好，不求任何回报
这是我想要的，但可行度有几高，我心中有数，因为没有多少人可以做到

成为情侣后，我发现不是不可行，只是难在对方也能理解，同时也达成共识
并不期望说对方必须和我一样，毕竟不一样是很正常，一样的话就该谢谢了
若真的对方做不到，我也不能做什么，但至少也不要要求我应该做些什么
问题在于，若对方做不到，要求期望是分不开的，拒绝配合便变成了不爱

我只会表明立场而已，我不要求你明白或接受，但也请别要求我接受/改变
我知道我很特别也很讲究，我只是想对自己诚实，只想轻松地过日子而已~