今天与L1同班一起上课，整个班上多了不少人，很奇怪的L1，就算没有位子坐，也都还要硬硬一堆坐在后面，跑前来拿了桌子椅子去后面，前面又不是没有位，非要坐在一起不可？？真的是无言，好听点叫合群，难听的话就不说了，不然的话，相信后果都是一样吧，反正L3也是同一类人。
上课上到一半，讲师有事出去二十分钟，我也争取时间休息睡觉，其他人如常一般高谈阔论，整个课室吵到要命，我心中有数，相信等下就会有人来骂人了。本来想离开课室与这班人脱离关系的，但20分钟不长也不短，由于真的蛮累一下，也就懒惰的趴在桌子上睡觉了。。。
模模糊糊中，感觉到附近静了下来，听到有人在训话，说什么很吵之类的，我没什么听到，但可以肯定的是，讲话的那个人蛮不爽我们这班的，语气不见得客气，想必是吵到隔壁班上课了吧，也难怪，这班人每天无时无刻都忙于关心朋友，又深怕朋友听不到似的，重复又重复，感情好得不得了，这是外人难以明白的大道理，所以难免会有冲突不爽的，我好想告诉那个人说，习惯就好，骂过我们的人有十多个，如果这班人会改的话，早就改了，不用等到你来说那几句废话，那是多余的，何况他们乐在其中，他们肯定还会继续的，你还是回家睡觉吧，省省你的口水啦~
什么时候才能与这班脱离关系呢？已经开始反感了，反胃了，呆在这班里，真的有够丢脸，有够羞惭！唉~ 难挨呀！
2009年10月29日星期四
2009年10月8日星期四
Totally fainted, game over
Haiz, this computer cannot write Chinese word, no choice, have to write in English already.....
Today, i went to Sunway Pyramid for ice skating, with my 2 female course mates from other group, actually i am full of excited to get ready to ice skate, but very weird, by the time I reach Sunway Pyramid, my excited mood totally distorted !! I am aware of it, I am thinking of the B girl ><"
I recall back the moments while I dated her to ice skating for celebrating her birthday at Sunway Pyramid too. It start from the time i step in SP, I remember that we went to book movie first before ice skating... Omg~ I am not concentrade in going out with my friends ><" But I fail to control myself, all in my mind is only B girl, I become confuse what I actually doing at that time. Feel sorry to my friends really....
While ice skating, it become worse, I helping my friend learn to skate, i recall back the time i do the same to B too, it just cannot get away from my mind, i really have nothing to say about it, but it is distorting my mood to play ice skate nicely. I cannot concentrade in skating, i watching in front, but i did not see the path; I look serious and steady, but I get lost in my mind. It is confusing, it is annoying. My leg shaking, not because i am tired, is because i don't know where I am skating, because i never pay attention in my skating. Falling down, getting injure is the result.
When I talking with my friends, I noticed that I always unconsiously mention my memories with B in the SP. I know it is not related to my friends, but I still repeating the same mistake over and over again. Fainted, this is not me, I am not comfortable with it, I feel so abnormal now. I know, I'm dying for sure this time ><"
Don't know what to say now, I just feel I am dominanted by the B already, without any reasonable reason. It is so wildness, it is so compulsive! I try to avoid, but it really out of my control, I have no idea how to deal with it. I am losing, I losing all my things, I lose to a girl without boundary, and now, I totally lose to myself too! Fainted, when I become so vulrable to danger?? When I become so low in self-esteem one !??? Speechless, I know I am game over soon~
Now I really no dare to think about it deeply, it is so unsecure! I know that avoidance won't solve the problem, it will just perpetuate the issues, but too bad, I do not have the ability to deal with it so far, so please allow me to take this stupid step ><"
Today, i went to Sunway Pyramid for ice skating, with my 2 female course mates from other group, actually i am full of excited to get ready to ice skate, but very weird, by the time I reach Sunway Pyramid, my excited mood totally distorted !! I am aware of it, I am thinking of the B girl ><"
I recall back the moments while I dated her to ice skating for celebrating her birthday at Sunway Pyramid too. It start from the time i step in SP, I remember that we went to book movie first before ice skating... Omg~ I am not concentrade in going out with my friends ><" But I fail to control myself, all in my mind is only B girl, I become confuse what I actually doing at that time. Feel sorry to my friends really....
While ice skating, it become worse, I helping my friend learn to skate, i recall back the time i do the same to B too, it just cannot get away from my mind, i really have nothing to say about it, but it is distorting my mood to play ice skate nicely. I cannot concentrade in skating, i watching in front, but i did not see the path; I look serious and steady, but I get lost in my mind. It is confusing, it is annoying. My leg shaking, not because i am tired, is because i don't know where I am skating, because i never pay attention in my skating. Falling down, getting injure is the result.
When I talking with my friends, I noticed that I always unconsiously mention my memories with B in the SP. I know it is not related to my friends, but I still repeating the same mistake over and over again. Fainted, this is not me, I am not comfortable with it, I feel so abnormal now. I know, I'm dying for sure this time ><"
Don't know what to say now, I just feel I am dominanted by the B already, without any reasonable reason. It is so wildness, it is so compulsive! I try to avoid, but it really out of my control, I have no idea how to deal with it. I am losing, I losing all my things, I lose to a girl without boundary, and now, I totally lose to myself too! Fainted, when I become so vulrable to danger?? When I become so low in self-esteem one !??? Speechless, I know I am game over soon~
Now I really no dare to think about it deeply, it is so unsecure! I know that avoidance won't solve the problem, it will just perpetuate the issues, but too bad, I do not have the ability to deal with it so far, so please allow me to take this stupid step ><"
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